I know it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged but there’s been a good reason and I want (need) to share it here.
Why people find the need to write in a diary is always so very intriguing to me; why I write in a diary is well known to me. I’ve kept a fairly steady diary starting when just 10 years old. They became much more detailed and regular as I became a confused, boy crazy, active teen-ager who was living in a very dysfunctional home. Then came my first marriage (and my second very dysfunctional home) and yet again I felt the need to keep a diary during these times. After 14 years of a tumultuous marriage we divorced. I then met a man who would forever change my life and it was at this time I kept (what I call), “my most secret diaries”. Between the pain I felt from the divorce and my life right after the divorce, well, without telling too much, I had a great deal to write down, and so did “he”. I kept what is known in the diary world (or at least in my world I’ve created called “Sally’s Diaries”) as the rarest form of diaries; when a man and woman write in the same diary, she on one page he on another, usually the back of her page. Out of the 10,000+ diaries that I’ve read I’ve come across this only twice, me being one of them. When that brief and ever so intense time with him suddenly ended, my life (I) was a mess, yet again. Then an “Angel of God” stepped into the picture, my husband Kevin. He was my precious saving grace for over 15 years but life was now about to take a sudden turn; the darkest turn ever. In 2008 he was killed. I never kept a diary when I was married to him and I think it was because I was so happy, content, and at peace. After he died I immediately started to write and within a three year time frame I kept 11 (ELEVEN) diaries. In 2012 those writings stopped……that is until just a few days ago. Remember my “most secret diaries” time in my life, well, I had to start writing again because that man who entered (and suddenly left) my life 23 years ago, showed up. He only entered it for one brief month and is now out of my life again. There is no way I couldn’t write about it; an impossibility for me to keep those feelings inside. Suddenly and Brief seems to be common words in my life. Perhaps my book title?
And with all that said (and not said), I find the reasons why people feel the need to write so incredibly interesting and “telling.” Me, I think I mostly write when there is a great deal of pain and I just can’t keep it in or I’ll explode…..just my ramblings I guess……and my need to write…..